July 26, 2015
Sometimes I catch myself after a couple of days, or even a couple of weeks, being stuck in a certain groove of life that isn't conducive to my future. It is sometimes referred to as "living life" or "enjoying the moment" but in my eyes, it's a distraction. When no progress is being made then it's clear that I'm backtracking. It's easy to get caught in a lull of quick rewards, but aren't long term rewards more beneficial to your life? Yeah, living each day with no responsibilities sounds perfect but it's not for everybody.
Having responsibilities helps a person to grow. Whether you bestow it upon yourself or someone else does, it's recognizing your potential and then meeting it. You could view the process as "baby steps". Each time you finish a responsibility, it adds more to you being a better version of yourself. Gradually, you grow.
I have responsibilities that I have given myself and it's just as frustrating when I fail. I've made it a task to write more often, to keep these blogs updated yet it's been 12 days since I last wrote. I haven't posted a video or done a photoshoot in a long time as well. There is little benefit from dwelling on these short comings, though. The best way to view them is as a fault and fix it.
I've been making all the wrong choices lately. I've been getting sucked into daily life. I've been turning away from my responsibilities and not being who I say I am. I could blame it on my age and say I'm just enjoying my youth but that's total bullshit because on the back of my mind, I know I've chosen poorly. I know I'm slipping yet I continue to slip. It would be easy to blame it on social situations and say that my friends would give me a hard time if I didn't chill with them. But that too is total bullshit because I know better. I know what I should be doing and I know where my time should be spent. I cannot blame my friends on my own poor choices.
It's important, however, for me to step away (like sneaking away from my friends and hiding on the roof to write this blog post) and focus on my work and not get couch-locked for a week. I have responsibilities that must be met and I cannot afford to spend that time on youthful desires. The time is now and I have to get to work. Hopefully some people will be able to relate to this and hopefully it'll help in a way.